I wonder if I am singer because no one listened to me as a child. Seriously. I grew up in a household where everyone talked incessantly, never pausing to let anyone else speak. It was like constant monologues going on simultaneously. Except my father, who rarely spoke. I remember my mother chastising me for butting in. Well, how else would I be heard? I’m surprised I didn’t become an elective mute. I did my fair share of talking and screaming, as it were, but I found the real power in my artistic expression. Yes, the obvious is that my early creative propensities came from a need for attention, and it worked. I got attention, and more importantly, everyone was forced to shut up if I was in a play or recital. I remember when I went off to college; I hardly spoke that whole first year. It was blissful. The power of silence, aaahhh...
This is not a poor me tirade. All of that was many years ago, and I have basically come to terms with it, but I remain vigilant to surround myself with friends and colleagues who are genuinely interested in an exchange of energy and ideas.
When I think of the nature of singing, one thing that comes to mind is not only the obvious power of music, but the power of expression. I think that has less to do with what we say, than how we say it. I love music sung in other languages, and I have several favorite artists who’ve created their own languages to sing, and I have done that myself. For me it is not about understanding the artist and hearing the story, or about creating a story for the audience (and yes, that has a place, and I’ve done that too), but the story is there in the instrument whether a narrator is present or not. I think it is easy to assume that a singer is all about ‘look at me, look at me, listen to what I have to say’, and though there are plenty of those out there, and I’ve been through that a bit myself, (see the above childhood origins of my own singing!)- I’ve grown to experience getting out of my own way, and not being emotionally or egotistically invested in performance or the experience of singing whether performing or not. And here is the cornball, Shirley Maclaine word of the day: Channel. That word brings up so many questions, like :
This is not a poor me tirade. All of that was many years ago, and I have basically come to terms with it, but I remain vigilant to surround myself with friends and colleagues who are genuinely interested in an exchange of energy and ideas.
When I think of the nature of singing, one thing that comes to mind is not only the obvious power of music, but the power of expression. I think that has less to do with what we say, than how we say it. I love music sung in other languages, and I have several favorite artists who’ve created their own languages to sing, and I have done that myself. For me it is not about understanding the artist and hearing the story, or about creating a story for the audience (and yes, that has a place, and I’ve done that too), but the story is there in the instrument whether a narrator is present or not. I think it is easy to assume that a singer is all about ‘look at me, look at me, listen to what I have to say’, and though there are plenty of those out there, and I’ve been through that a bit myself, (see the above childhood origins of my own singing!)- I’ve grown to experience getting out of my own way, and not being emotionally or egotistically invested in performance or the experience of singing whether performing or not. And here is the cornball, Shirley Maclaine word of the day: Channel. That word brings up so many questions, like :
What is a channel? Dunno (except a body of H2O).
Channel what? Expression?
Answers are overrated anyway. I don’t think I’ve gotten any satisfactory answers to anything, ever.
More importantly it implies being a vessel for something intangible and only experiential. Being open, clear (as in clear-headed, not spooky L. Ron Hubbard clear). Being ready, being possible. Tha's a cool word: possible. Like 'alchemy' from an earlier post.
Is it still a tightrope? Yes. Do I have to be attentive, kindly nudging and reminding myself of these things? Sure. Is it hard? Yes, and that is part of the fun. Carry water. Chop wood. It is a practice. Wait. It is a Practice, with a capitol ‘P’.
And what am I expressing? Being alive.
Is it still a tightrope? Yes. Do I have to be attentive, kindly nudging and reminding myself of these things? Sure. Is it hard? Yes, and that is part of the fun. Carry water. Chop wood. It is a practice. Wait. It is a Practice, with a capitol ‘P’.
And what am I expressing? Being alive.
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