11.2.06

Heaven's Little Lies

It’s funny that I can feel defeated by myself. Hoodwinked, as it were. Convinced I’ve been all zen-blissed out and living the Suzy-Process Oriented high life….and then having reality slam me down like an unexpected ski fall on a piece-o-cake run. What I thought was a piece-o-cake run.
Perception is indeed a master of deception. I’ve been quite proud of thinking I’ve been all in the moment. So proud of myself that I was keeping my eye on the ball, doing what the moment required, blah, blah, blah. Pride ought to have been the red flag there, buddy. What I think I am ready for and what the reality of what I am ready for is quiet different. Maybe that is just another of perception’s slippery slopes. I simply cannot tell.
Is this a gift of waking up? Getting comfortable with uncertainty must surely be part of the puzzle. I also have had a more emotional stake in my endeavors than I am willing to admit. Another little lie from heaven that I am very happy to believe.
Learning is not linear. Ah…
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Run @ M Park with D. Gorgeous, glorious cold, sunny Texas winter day.
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Deelish dinner treat at MB’s with C.
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Feels good to be taking time off….and a little thing we call Olympic Gold!

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